PLOT: A spacey pool cleaner (Chris Pine) discovers a plot to steal water from Los Angeles during a drought. 

REVIEW: (NOTE – POOLMAN WAS REVIEWED AT TIFF 2023) In the fourteen years I’ve been covering TIFF, I’ve seen only a handful of movies that I’d say were shockingly bad. The Mickey Rourke/ Megan Fox/ Bill Murray dud Passion Play comes to mind. Poolman ranks with the worst movies I’ve ever reviewed at JoBlo. It’s a stunningly unfunny comic noir vanity project for star Chris Pine, who also directed and co-wrote the film. That it was made at all is a testament to the power of celebrity, as it has already become notorious at the festival for the amount of walkouts taking place at the screenings. 

So why is Poolman so awful? It comes down to the screenplay and Pine’s grating lead performance as a kind of “lovable” loser that’s clearly patterned on Jeff Bridges’s turn as The Dude in The Big Lebowski. Alas, Pine isn’t either of the Coen Bros, with the character insufferable right from the start, as he cranks out daily letters to Erin Brokovich (a fact the movie thinks is hilarious) and hooks up with his aloof girlfriend, played by Jennifer Jason Leigh, who’s sleeping with everyone else around him. He lives in an old apartment complex owned by Jack (Danny DeVito) and Diane (Annette Bening), who may or may not be his adopted parents; the movie never quite makes up its mind. 

His character, Darren, is obsessed with public transit in Los Angeles and attends weekly city council meetings where he tortures his city councilman nemesis (Stephen Tobolowsky) with his “wacky” presentations. He is approached by a femme fatale (the gorgeous DeWanda Wise) with a scoop that something shady may be going on with the local water supply, and before you know it, he’s popping Chinatown into the VHS and going on his own L.A odyssey. 

A movie like this lives and dies by its central character, and Pine is never convincing as a down-and-out hippie Poolman. He’s trying to stretch beyond his leading man comfort level, and while his roguish charm was funny in Dungeons & Dragons, he’s not able to make Darren anything more than a joke, and a bad one at that. His attempts at Coen Bros-type absurdist humour fall deadly flat, with two henchmen inexplicably dressed like Crocket and Tubbs in Miami Vice and Tobolowski’s Rabbi doing drag shows as one of the Golden Girls. You never invest in the mystery because Pine is nothing less than grating in the lead role.

What’s especially grating about Poolman is how self-satisfied it is. Pine had built the entire movie around himself, with none of the supporting cast ever really getting a chance to shine. None of them, not even the always reliable DeVito and Bening, make an impression, with only Wise somehow walking away looking good as she suits the femme fatale role. Technically, the film is impeccable, with Pine shooting the movie on 35mm with his Wonder Woman DP Matthew Jensen (Patty Jenkins is a producer). But as pretty as it looks, sitting through 100 minutes of Pine doing desperately unfunny schtick becomes a chore. 

The fact is, TIFF audiences are notoriously kind to movies. I’ve seen duds get bit rounds of applause, as we Canadians are respectful, no matter how bad a movie is. Yet, the buzz around TIFF following Poolman‘s premiere has been deadly (adding insult to injury, there was a big plan to screen this on 35mm on specifically created prints that never happened). Pine’s first film landed with a thud, but it’s proof that comedy can be tough to pull off, even when tinged with drama. This desperately wants to be the next Big Lebowski or Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, but it would be better for all involved if Poolman comes and goes without much fuss. 

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Chris Pine would amass a number of successful movies over the years of his career since his breaking out in J.J. Abrams‘ reboot of Star Trek in 2009. The son of CHiPs star Robert Pine had carved out a nice little resume for himself and would make the move to behind the camera as he brought a passion project of his to life with this year’s Poolman. That move was naturally a risk, and unfortunately, Pine’s film would not garner a positive response. Our own Chris Bumbray said in his review, “Poolman ranks with the worst movies I’ve ever reviewed at JoBlo. It’s a stunningly unfunny comic noir vanity project for star Chris Pine, who also directed and co-wrote the film. […] it has already become notorious at the festival for the amount of walkouts taking place at the screenings.”

That review would be among a bevy of bad ones, with Variety‘s Owen Gleiberman calling it an “absurdist disaster.” The kind of attention Poolman received was not easy for Pine to ignore. The movie has even yet to be released, and with early harsh buzz, Pine has an interesting task of promoting a movie that has already been notoriously panned. While on the Happy Sad Confused podcast, Pine would admit that at one point, he almost submitted to the reception, but he ultimately refuses the criticism, “I watched my film. After the reviews in Toronto I was like maybe I did make a pile of sh*t. I went back and watched it. I fucking love this film. I love this film so much.”

Pine continued to explain his reaction on the matter, “When the film came out at Toronto and just got fucking panned…I tried to make a joyful film. With so much joy behind it, to then be met with a fusillade of not-so-joyous stuff…the cognitive dissonance there was quite something. It’s ultimately been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. It’s forced me to double down on joy and really double down on what I love most about my job, which you kind of forget, it’s fundamentally about play. You become children for hours a day and make believe. There’s an impish quality that I don’t want to lose.”

He continued, “In the reframing of it…one of my favorite quotes is in Latin and it’s ‘vigor grows from the wound,’ In everything that feels like a setback, yes there is the hurt of the cut, but as the scar tissue forms and the healing process happens you do benefit from a growth in resilience.”

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As we know, Wonder Woman 3 is no longer moving forward now that James Gunn and Peter Safran have taken over DC Studios, but it’s a choice Chris Pine doesn’t understand.

Chris Pine. who played Steve Trevor in Wonder Woman and Wonder Woman 1984, told Business Insider that he was “stunned” when he learned Wonder Woman 3 had been axed. “I’m stunned that they said no to a billion-dollar franchise and decided to pivot elsewhere,” Pine said “I don’t know what the reasoning was behind that; it’s above my pay grade, but Wonder Woman is an incredible character; Patty is such a thoughtful director.”

The actor had no expectations that he would have been involved in the third movie. “Me. No. Homie is dead. Steve is gonzo,” he said. “It would be ridiculous to try to bring me back.” Trevor was killed off in the first Wonder Woman movie but was brought back for Wonder Woman 1984 through a little comic-book magic. As Pine said, it would have been a little ridiculous if they brought him back yet again.

As much as Pine loves the Wonder Woman franchise nowadays, he initially hesitated to sign on. “I had no interest in playing the boyfriend, and it sounded like second fiddle,” Pine said. “Then, in talking to Patty, the way she described it was, ‘Forget the superhero of it all, this is a romance, this is ‘Casablanca,’ that’s the movie I want to make.’ I was like, oh, now that is very cool because when have you seen a superhero film that was a love story, ultimately? That had nothing to do with blowing shit up.“

Wonder Woman director Patty Jenkins has said that she doesn’t believe DC Studios is “interested in doing any ‘Wonder Woman’ for the time being,” but she doesn’t hold any ill will. “It’s not an easy task, with what’s going on with DC. James Gunn and Peter Safran have to follow their own heart into their own plans,” Jenkins said. “I don’t know what they are planning on doing or why, so I have sympathy for what a big job it is and they have to follow their heart and do what they’ve got planned.“ At the moment, the only Wonder Woman-related project in development for the new DC Universe is the Paradise Lost prequel series for Max.

Chris Pine will next be seen in Poolman, which he also co-wrote and directed. After catching the flick at the Toronto International Film Festival last year, our own Chris Bumbray said it was one of the worst movies he’s ever reviewed. Yikes. You’ll be able to find out for yourself when Poolman is released on May 10th.

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Our own Chris Bumbray caught Chris Pine’s Poolman at the Toronto International Film Festival last year and absolutely loved the movie, calling it “desperately unfunny,” “grating,” “and “one of the worst movies I’ve ever reviewed.” High praise indeed. The first trailer for Poolman was recently released, giving audiences the chance to check out this cinematic triumph for themselves.

Poolman tells the story of “Darren Barrenman (Pine), a native Los Angeleno who spends his days looking after the pool of the Tahitian Tiki apartment block and fighting to make his hometown a better place to live. When he is tasked by a femme fatale to uncover the truth behind a shady business deal, Darren enlists the help of his friends to take on a corrupt politician and a greedy land developer. His investigation reveals a hidden truth about his beloved city and himself.” In addition to starring in Poolman, Pine also made his directorial debut with the film and co-wrote the script with Ian Gotler.

When it came to stepping behind the camera for the first time, Pine told Entertainment Weekly that he “hadn’t thought about directing until I happened upon this idea. It was the idea that really wouldn’t let go of me and wouldn’t let me wiggle out of directing duties. I loved having ownership of this creation from top to bottom. The ability to fully express myself was deeply satisfying.” Pine also managed to gather quite the stacked cast for Poolman, with DeWanda Wise, Annette Bening, Danny DeVito, and Jennifer Jason Leigh starring alongside him. “I love actors and there I was working with some of the best actors in our business,” Pine said. “It was a marvel to watch them discover and create right in front of my eyes. And whatever anxiety I may have had directing Oscar winners evaporated quite quickly under the heat of ‘no money, no time.’“

You likely don’t need more convincing to place Poolman in your best movies of the year list, but I’ll let Chris Bumbray seal the deal. “A movie like this lives and dies by its central character, and Pine is never convincing as a down-and-out hippie Poolman,” Bumbray wrote in his review. “He’s trying to stretch beyond his leading man comfort level, and while his roguish charm was funny in Dungeons & Dragons, he’s not able to make Darren anything more than a joke, and a bad one at that… You never invest in the mystery because Pine is nothing less than grating in the lead role… This desperately wants to be the next Big Lebowski or Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, but it would be better for all involved if Poolman comes and goes without much fuss.” You can check out the rest of Bumbray’s glowing review right here.

What did you think of the Poolman trailer? Will you be watching when it hits theaters on May 10th?

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Grab your floaties and stay out of the deep end because Vertical has acquired the U.S. rights to AGC Studios‘ Poolman, the absurdist comedy and Chris Pine’s directorial debut! The comedic caper premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival 2023, where audiences experienced Pine’s first time behind a camera for a feature-length film.

Joining Pine in Poolman are Annette Bening (American Beauty, Captain Marvel), Danny DeVito (Death to Smoochy, Always Sunny in Philadelphia), Jennifer Jason Leigh (Fargo, The Hateful Eight), and DeWanda Wise (Jurassic World: Dominion, The Harder They Fall). In addition to directing, Pine co-wrote the script with Ian Gotler (The Doula). The duo also produced the film alongside Stacey Sher (Erin Brockovich) and Patty Jenkins (Wonder Woman).

Poolman “tells the story of Darren Barrenman (Pine), a native Los Angeleno who spends his days looking after the pool of the Tahitian Tiki apartment block and fighting to make his hometown a better place to live,” reads the official description. “When he is tasked by a femme fatale to uncover the truth behind a shady business deal, Darren enlists the help of his friends to take on a corrupt politician and a greedy land developer. His investigation reveals a hidden truth about his beloved city and himself.”

Awkwardly, Poolman mainly received negative reviews after its TIFF premiere. While some were delighted with the film’s unique approach to mystery and quirk, our managing editor, Chris Bumbray, found it lacking. One of his chief criticisms is how Pine swallows the film’s spotlight.

“What’s especially grating about Poolman is how self-satisfied it is. Pine had built the entire movie around himself, with none of the supporting cast ever really getting a chance to shine. None of them, not even the always reliable DeVito and Bening, make an impression, with only Wise somehow walking away looking good as she suits the femme fatale role,” Bumbray wrote. “Technically, the film is impeccable, with Pine shooting the movie on 35mm with his Wonder Woman DP Matthew Jensen (Patty Jenkins is a producer). But as pretty as it looks, sitting through 100 minutes of Pine doing desperately unfunny schtick becomes a chore.”

Regardless of mixed reactions to the film, Vertical is excited about bringing the film to a wider audience. Poolman comes to U.S. theaters in 2024, where others could find an odd charm in Pine’s first plunge into directing a feature.

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